March has been no walk in the park. It started at the beginning of the month. From March 1st through the 4th I was constantly in and out of the hospital and doctors office. After taking a trip to Flagstaff, where I tried to sneak out of Pinon without Brent finding out, I was diagnosed with strep throat and a severe case of tonsillitis. The following week I returned to work and made it through the week successfully. By the time the weekend came around my body was giving up on me again and the stresses of life were starting to wear me down. I broke out in a severe case of hives and was unable to go to work again. A friend of ours came over and gave me a dose of medication to get rid of them. I returned to work on Wednesday. Then the weekend came around again and my tonsils started to swell again leaving me feeling like crap. I took another day off of work to get healthy. All I had to do was make it to Friday, my follow up appointment, and I did. The doctor looked at my tonsils and told me that they are as healthy as they are ever going to get again, they are functioning at a 75% level and NEED to come out. With the wedding a little less than a month away, then one month of school after that, and the summer almost completely booked I was limited on when I could schedule the surgery. I chose June 9th, right after we come back from Utah, with a follow up appointment on June 16th, my 23rd birthday. My mom has decided to come out to keep me company, take care of me, and help me out. But the month of March does not end there...
On Tuesday the schools secretary brought in several leave slips for me to sign. I thought I had already signed them all and was set, but apparently I missed a few. She asked if they had taken out the large amount yet out of my paycheck and I responded with 'no'. I asked her what she was referring to and she did not give me any specifics. I knew that I had used all of my time up from being sick, but I had not been notified of any withdraws coming out of my paycheck. I contacted someone working in payroll and they told me that on the first paycheck in April they would be withdrawing $900 in leave without pay for being ill. Needless to say, I freaked out. The idea of only having two more paychecks before the wedding and loosing one whole paycheck sent me through the largest panic attack I have ever had. After school I cried, that was all I felt like I could do. During young women's, President Huxhold told me to talk to Doug in payroll, he would be able to give me more solid answers and possible help me come up with a solution. I sent him an email on Tuesday night and got a phone call Wednesday morning. He looked at my situation and told me the things that he could not do and he understood completely that I was in a state of terror. He found an anonymous donor who was willing to give me 40 hours of leave time, the exact amount that was going to be withdrawn from my upcoming paycheck. I was relieved and finally felt like I could breathe. Soon after, my mom called me to tell me that she had $300 for me, and so did my step-mom. For the first time in a month I feel like everything is going to be ok.
The point of this post though is because I feel like God has been teaching me a lesson this month about Faith. Every time something started going wrong I found myself silently saying a prayer or reading my scriptures more diligently in search of an answer. At one point this month, I found myself filled with the spirit as I was able to enter into the temple for the first time to do baptisms for the dead. I am learning that my faith is stronger than what I allow to show. A friend of mine has made me question my ability to learn and study because of her comments during church. Brent, being male, tried to help with the situation but only made it worse. He soon rephrased what he said into what he meant to say. I know though that God is there for me and if I just take a deep breathe, bow my head, and pray that he will give me the answer and guidance that I am looking for. Brent keeps telling me that everything will work out, and although I hear those words I question if they are true sometimes. Then things like someone willing to give up 40 hours of their personal leave to help someone in need happens and you know it is true. God has taught me a lesson about Faith and in the upcoming weeks I know that I will be a stronger person as I prepare for the next step of my life. In 24 days I will marry the man who has stolen my heart and has become my true soulmate. I love Brent with all of my heart and I know that as God helps me through the turmoils and struggles that Satin lays before me, Brent will be standing right next to me, holding my hand, and telling me that everything will be alright. And I know now, in my heart, that he is right.
Rascal Flatts says it best, 'I won't let go'
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