The Beginning of a New Week and a New Pamela

Last week, although it was the longest week of my life, was probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

After going to the hospital and later finding out that I basically blacked out on the way home, as Brent put it I was pathetic (thanks honey), I made a doctors appointment with an ENT on Thursday in Flagstaff. I was trying to sneak out of Pinon and let Brent stay at work since he had left so much to take care of me during the course of the week. I got one of my friends involved who went to his classroom and stole my keys. Well, if you can imagine that did not go so well and he called me in a panic. When he discovered that my plan was to drive myself to the doctors he freaked out and took off work. It defeated the whole purpose of me disappearing to feel better. I am not use to someone telling me 'no'. It is not that I always get what I want I just am use to taking care of myself and that includes going to the doctors. So Brent with me to the doctors where they diagnosed me with strep and tonsillitis, gave me new medication, and told me that I need to have my tonsils taken out. Later that night I decided that I was in no condition to sit in the car for two hours so we rented a hotel room and stayed in Flagstaff. I took the first dose of medication on Thursday night and woke up like nothing had ever happened. Over the next few days I kept getting better and better. I was able to actually eat for the first time in 72 hours without feeling sick to my stomach, did a little shopping, and went on a date with my man.

I was actually really scared when I was sick. The only think I could worry about was my job. I was afraid that they were going to let me go because I had missed so much work, but I one of the vice principals donated some time off to prevent me from getting a huge pay cut. Although I was physically ill I honestly needed the time to get my emotional health back into perspective. I realized that I am tired of making everyone else happy around me and not myself. I am tired of trying to impress my family and doing everything to just please them. If people really have a problem with me marrying Brent then say it to my face and not behind my back. Brent has done more for me than most of my family combined and I know that he will be there holding my hand through everything. I love him with all of my heart and nothing can change that. I also have learned that I need to start letting the small things go. I can't handle the stress and making decisions by myself is harder than anything else I could ever imagine. He will win a few, I will win a few more, but we will always talk things out and say 'I love you' at the end of the night.

I love you Brent!